In "Sadomasochism and the Jihadi Death Cult," Nancy Kobrin writes:

In Arab Muslim culture the bond between mother and child is unseverable. One is never permitted to separate from the mother. In an honor-shame culture one does not go through an individuation separation process.

Many years ago I (Richard Koenigsberg) ran into a beautiful Indian woman. She was Hindu from South Africa. She was staying in an apartment with her Uncle in Manhattan. He allowed her to deposit a few checks at Citibank on 86th Street and Broadway, where I ran into her. We had a wonderful conversation, three hours long.

I took her out several times. One great experience was when I took her to a nightclub where black vocal groups were performing. This was the first time she had been with a mixed black-and-white audience.

Whenever we dated, I met her in the lobby of the apartment building where she was saying. I never met her Uncle. 

At a certain point, I realized there was some disturbance in our relationship. Her Uncle seemed to sense something was going on. So, he sent her to stay with a relative in New Jersey. I didn't hear from her for three weeks.

Then she called me (her name was Anne Regina Naidoo) and told me that she had to go back to South Africa. Her Auntie had died and her father had a heart-attack. I didn't know much about Indian culture at the time, but with my background in psychoanalysis, I figured out that what occurred was related to the fact that her family had picked up vibes coming from Anne. They realized she had discovered something good/someone good outside of the family. 

Somehow, this (to us) minor experienced of separation had shattered the entire family. It seemed extraordinary to me then, but when I learned more about Indian culture, I realized what occurred was not extraordinary.

OK, I don't give up so easily. For the First Time, I called her on the telephone at the apartment where she was staying. Her Uncle picked up. I said, "May I speak to Anne, please." "WHO IS THIS" he yelled. I said, "I'm Richard, I'm a friend of Anne." He said, "NO YOU'RE NOT." I replied, "Yes I am."

He yelled: 'IF YOU EVER CALL HERE AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR NOSE OFF."

Well, I've hung out with some bad mother-fuckers in Manhattan. I dated an actress and walked her back to Harlem. But I'd never heard anything like this.

Somehow, Anne got back on the phone. She asked if I wanted to write to her-- since she now was compelled to go back to South Africa. Suddenly, my psychoanalyst plugged into my mind. "Better not, this is something you don't understand."

Shamefully (I'm sorry you beautiful woman), I didn't take her number and never saw Anne again.

Time for me to figure out what was going on. There was an Indian movie theater on 57th Street and Broadway: the Bombay Cinema. I bought my popcorn and watched my first Indian movie, "The Girl from India." It was about a young Indian lady who came to live with her family in Jamaica. She has an affair with a Jamaican man. Her father discovers this and shoots the cat in the head, killing him.

OK, maybe I made the right decision abandoning my Indian girlfriend.

In one subsequent movie, the father and mother learn that their daughter is dating someone inappropriate. A lot of struggle entails (they didn't kill the young lady), and finally both the mother and father have a heart attack. 

Separation of the daughter from the family shattered the family. Separation meant death. Very similar to what I'd actually experienced.

Nancy Kobrin writes: "In Arab Muslim culture the bond between mother and child is unseverable. One is never permitted to separate from the mother." In an honor-shame culture one does not go through an individual separation process."

Subsequent experiences participating in Indian culture confirmed this hypothesis: no such thing as separation-individuation.

Best regards,

Richard Koenigsberg